Founder and President
Charmed Life Products LLC
Grill Charms™… The MUST HAVE grilling accessory that is revolutionizing the American Cook-out AND The perfect gift for any occasion!
Re: the text content...
First, while the block of text on the home page is not overly large, it would be easier to read if the large paragraph were broken up into a couple or more paragraphs. Website viewers initially "scan" pages rather than reading them. So to effectively communicate your message, you should present your content so it is easily scanned. Your bulleted content on the bottom half of the page is a good example of content that is easily scanned.
Not sure if I fit your target market, because I had no idea what wine charms were (until I did a search). Also, I`m not sure if comparing your product to another "charm" application is a good idea or not. ... So Initially, I did not "get it". If the website viewer knows what wine charms are - and the "benefits" of them - then your comparison helps. If not, it just confuses your marketing message.
The first two impressions I got from reading your text were:
-The charms are used to somehow cook the meat better.
-The charms were used to identify respective pieces of meat.
On your "shop" page... you say "will be sold" (future tense). I understnad this may make sence now becuase the product is not available. But, whe the product is available... you need to change that text to the present tense. I also suggest that instead of "mushing" (a technical writing term) into one paragraph, you have a paragraph describing each set and future sets (coming soon).
Grillcharmer I like the overall feel of your website. The text is clear and to me gets your point across well.(i already knew what wine charms were). I agree that you sould remove all of the TM`s and the patent pending on the home page. I know this is important to a new product but it kindive invades the smooth feel of your text. I do think the line height needs to be farther apart as well so it is easily readable by everyone (I had no problem with it but some people will).
Im not a big fan of the colors but I think it goes well with your logo. I actually disagree with Campsteve on the orange "shop online" button at the bottom of the home page. This really stands out to me and draws my attention because it is vertical and everything else is horizantal, and Im sure you want your selling of your product to stand out.
I noticed your site was done in CSS and has a real clean feel overall....GOOD JOB!!!!!!!
I actually disagree with Campsteve on the
orange "shop online" button at the bottom of the home page. This really
stands out to me and draws my attention because it is vertical and
everything else is horizantal, and Im sure you want your selling of your
product to stand out.
Holy Moley Craig!!! How much do I owe ya??!!! That is AWESOME! Have I said lately... I LOVE THIS FORUM!!! Craig, I can`t thank you enough! I`m collecting all these fabulous reviews and will submit them all in about a week to my web guy (another wonderful SuN member) I loved my website before and love the look, but I did feel like the text needed help (my fault) I know that with the above improvements I will love my text as much as I love my site. Thank you all so much! I`ll be making the changes soon, keep the comments coming if you`ve got em!