Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

As a television news reporter years ago, I always knew I had to be visually appealing.  Although I wasn’t well endowed in one specific area, my body was very well proportioned for my size and I had that youthful, perky, cute look.  Unfortunately though, as the years passed and I began to mature, my graceful aging became outdated and I was easily replaced by younger, sexier-looking women who could probably never compete on the show Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader. 

Even though many of us gain more confidence in business and relationships at midlife, the media makes us feel less secure about our image. They imply that if we want to maintain our sex appeal we should consider breast implants or cosmetic surgery to tighten up sagging and flabby skin.   They point to the likes of Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn or Madonna as role models for us. Now, I’m not knocking any of these fellow baby boomer women but not all of us are alike and we shouldn’t be put into a “woman size fits all” generic category.   

So the question here is, do we still need sex appeal in order to be successful in our businesses at midlife?  Does sex still sell?  As a woman in business, do you feel the need to dress a certain way when meeting a male client to get his attention—or perhaps DISTRACT his attention?  Should we come across as sensuous while also displaying our intelligence?  To what extent does appearance affect our professional success, and can a middle-aged woman really use sex appeal to further her business endeavors? 

Management Psychologist Ken Siegel was quoted as saying, “You’d be a fool if you didn’t use your looks to your advantage and make the most of what you’ve got.  Don’t pretend it doesn’t matter. It’s a huge part of life in the 21^st century.”

What do you think?

One of my favorite lines from a story, involved two tennis players. One was young and agile, about 25. The other was 50-something. The older guy wins the game, and when questioned by the younger guy, he says, "Hey, you may be young and strong, but I`m old and crafty!"

I think one of the main reasons we`re in the situation we`re in, vis-a-vis the economy, jobs, corporations and so on, is having devalued merit, skill, and experience.

So the question could be more sophisticated. Sex (appeal) does still sell in the market, and that includes all ages, but does that hold true across all markets, in all historic times?

I`ll suggest that many things are ending, these days, that have been around for so long they`ve become traditional. They seem to be the right way to do things because "people have ALWAYS done them that way."

With an attention span of about 12 seconds, a majority of people today haven`t got a memory of any other possible way of doing anything. So we have life-long politicians who do nothing, being re-elected every year. They`re not interested in running anything, so we`re leaderless.

We have faster and faster management styles, with crisis management being the best of all worlds. That doesn`t allow room for thought, deliberation, analysis, critique, debate or even reason. Experience is considered "old school," and should be sidelined. It`s obsolete, not "cutting edge," and so forth.

That`s fine. It`ll all come tumbling down, and people who`ve never functioned in a real world suddenly won`t know how to adapt.

One of the best aspect of aging is that it`s honed our skills at adaptability, invention, creative problem-solving, and trend analysis.

In my opinion, sexuality is like the glitter on a fishing lure. It serves to attract attention. But unless there`s a hook attached, the fish won`t get caught. Sex and glitter attract the eye, but the underlying backup of content, product, service, and follow-through make the sale.

Historically, younger (prettier) people have handled tactics. Older and wiser people have moved into strategic planning. Modern business doesn`t understand the difference between tactics and strategy, for the most part, and certainly not in the television industry.

I`d imagine that sexual appeal is still considered a "selling point" even today, although I believe decreasingly so.

With EEO legislation, a greater climate of open mindedness as well as less sexism in the workplace, employers are hiring more and more based on ones merits and less and less on ones appearance.

That said, there are many studies that show that more "attractive people" generally have an edge when applying for jobs. I don`t believe that being attractive is the same as being "sexually appealing" although they are probably linked.

As unfortunate as it may be, we are going to have to deal with this unfairness the best we can. While I wouldn`t recommend dressing in a certain way to distract or attract attention, one should still always be conscious of their appearance to ensure they aren`t discriminated against based on lack of "attractive qualities".



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Motivation for Entrepreneurs
Entre-Propel.com

If you`re attractive, odds are you`re confident. That`s the edge. If you`re confident, you ace the interviews. People like attractive people, and attractive people get more practice in the social arena. Children are ruthless to unattractive children. These children often grow up highly introverted. If people don`t like you, you don`t get as much social practice. Talent is important. Being personable enough to sell your talent is another. Sex sells because sexy people have a confidence advantage in selling. That`s my theory.

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Making limitless possibilities much more limited.

One of the best ways, and a common way, to handle the pragmatic side of all this is to have a pair. One is the pretty person who`s great at schmoozing and glad-handing. The other is the behind-the-scenes who knows the technology and production methods.

Combined, they become a successful partnership.

babyboomerbev,
Good topic! Sometime last week, I was having this same conversation with a friend of mine that happens to be a good lucking woman (very successful), and now that she`s entering the Cougar years, she feels like she has to have the "Implants and Lipo" and so forth to stay competitive in her game. I guess that`s the difference between a male business owner and a woman business owner. Men don`t really care about this unless, they are [you know, Im not going to go there]

My honest answer, yes you need sex appeal to be successful. When I was in college [marketing class] I did a simple survey that consisted of 100 people[actual businesses]. The name of my project was "Eye Candy comes in Handy", and what I did was I hired two girls [No-pay since they were good friends of mine, I gave them a free dorm party] One of the girls was on the heavy-set side not that good looking [I called her Subject Fugly] and the other girl was good looking and very attractive [I called her subject Candy].

My goal was to convince the teacher in 15 minutes, that in order for you to be a successful business owner / Employee, you had to be good looking or decent looking for that matter. So, the survey started, and both girls where given simple tasks... One of the tasks was making it past the receptionist and the other was making the sale.

To my surprise, 75% of the time, subject Candy made it past the receptionist, and made the sale with little or no effort, on the other hand [my other subject] wouldn`t make it past the receptionist and most of the time would be told to come back next week or they weren`t interested.

After presenting my case to the teacher[I got a 95  on my project, for that matter], we all agreed that you have to be good looking or decent to make it in this world, no matter if you`re a business owner or employee.

The reason behind it is because in the USA we are so strong out on looks and fashion. Most of it comes from television and commercials and what they feed our society.

Look at all your commercials, 85% of them are women [good looking women ages ranging form birth - 45 years of age] the other 10% are cars, food and males, and 5% are animals and even the animals have to look good... God forbid "FIDO" in an alpo commercial has brown spots when they should have been tan [the dog gets fired].

So in despite of it all, yes... you need need to be good looking if you wan to get ahead.... BTW? what made you bring this up? Now do you think it is important for both men and women to look good or just women in general? 




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Edgar Monroy
Web Developer / Owner / Consultant
When starting your own business the need to "know-how" is greater than money!
http://www.nuevolution.net

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Rick Pipa Duffy Mac Golf Chicagoland, IL www.duffymacgolf.com Golf can be essential to career success. You may not even know what you`re missing by NOT playing. You must know Etiquette - skill is secondary. Respect; Attitude; Ready Golf: Ethical Behavior!

I think we have to keep in mind that 98% of all people who get into car accidents also eat carrots. One might be led to conclude that eating carrots causes car accidents.

With so many unstated variable in the experiment of getting past the receptionist and making a sale, do we really know that it`s the physical looks that were the deciding factor?

Great question and as you suggest, we probably couldn`t know unless the receptionist were to be fairly obvious with their motivations (ie: he/she flirting, etc...).

I think the best course of action for any business person is to ensure that they are well groomed, professional looking and act as professional and courteous as possible. For some, looking to accentuate the "sexual appeal" will repel prospects, and do so very quickly. 


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Motivation for Entrepreneurs
Entre-Propel.com