Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

PLEASE critique my new, practical self-defense website. 

www.RealityBasedDefense.com

Thanks!!

JB



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Jeff Brown

www.RealityBasedDefense.com

Hey there... :-D
I took a look, and the first impression "very busy!" For self-defense, I think the black background and white or red text works. It conveys the sense of violence and defense well. However; the red lead-in text is already hard to read in the red, so I`d suggest making it more immediate. You currently have:
What I`m thinking is less passive, shorter, and right away putting across the message:
That red on black is an immediate attention grabber, so you want the content to be immediate as well.

The next problem is eye movement---the way the eye moves across your site. There isn`t any next place to focus, after the red lead-in. The three vertical pics to the right are bright and draw the eye, but as soon as that happens, the big shield interferes. Then, just as the eye moves there, the big banner and headline pulls the eye in that direction.

So you`ve got my eyes going around in circles. The key is to move the eye from point to point, making your argument, demonstrating your case, and building a conviction. At that point, there should be a "call to action." Something to sign up, register, send in contact info or whatever.

Instead of only having the "Call for lessons today," which is passive, I`d propose adding a link button: "Sign up for your free introductory lesson today!" That`ll get people in the door, and you can see about showing them the entire course, right there.

After you`ve moved away from the landing page (I clicked "executives") then the white text on black really begins to lag. It`s hard to read, and appears to be "too much." On the other hand, you don`t want to lose the color theme of the first page either.

Maybe you could generate your text with a lighter background (CSS boxes), even going to off-white with black text. Increase your line height, and make the text easy to read. Serif fonts (e.g., Times) are already difficult, but when they`re cramped and low in contrast, they`re impossible.

Bottom line: The landing page is good, needs a bit of vision tracking help. Content is weak, and the supporting pages need better layout and a good editor. :-)