Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

I’ve mentored an amazing number of women (and men) in marketing over the years and what I’ve noticed is that for most of us we seem to have the mistaken impression that business is totally separate and different from how we think and feel about ourselves.  It’s not so.  If you don’t appreciate and value who you are and what you bring to your business – whether it’s products or services others are going to miss out on what you have to offer that’s unique, different and better for your ideal customers - and that`s a lose-lose rather than a win-win.

So here are three tips that I hope will help you out:

1. Your business cannot grow any faster than your personal growth.

If you don`t like who you are or your picture - you may need to work on whatever those self-esteem issues are first because they will keep coming up over and over again and keep holding you back and hurting your opportunity for success with your business. These things go hand in hand together. We have all had our own personal growth journey and challenges to gradually develop our own level of confidence - and confidence sells in business. People sense when you are confident and passionate about yourself and what you do - and they gravitate towards confident people.

Also, the more you develop personal confidence the more you will be willing to try new things and take a few risks to get the word out about you and what you have to offer. If you`re serious about having a successful business maybe it`s time to stop protecting and guarding your current level of confidence and self esteem and start looking for ways to improve it and grow it. Confidence is attractive and draws people to us - both in business and in our personal life.


2. The world of business is not the world of the childhood sandbox.

Remember when the kids were little at the park and the moms would sit nearby and make sure the kids all played nice? Well, in business this isn`t true.

That doesn`t mean we want to be mean-spirited or take advantage of anyone on purpose - it does mean yes, people will make decisions about people based on their appearance sometimes - it`s human behavior. You can say that`s unfair but this is business - not the sandbox at the park. It`s a reality. You can rebel and tell everyone that it`s not fair - and you might even be right - but it`s like trying to push a river upstream.

I`ve noticed that many moms on some of the networks put their “momness” first before being a business owner at times. They want to level the playing field and make everything nicey-nice as if competition and marketing didn`t exist and they were sitting near the sandbox trying to get everyone to behave. Except this is business not the sandbox. You might admonish something "unfair" or "not nice." You might even silence our comments temporarily - but you won`t change us because this the business not the sandbox.

You can say "I can`t do this" or "I`m afraid or uncomfortable to do that" and "people shouldn`t judge me for this" but excuses are not attractive in business. And you might be totally right that it`s not fair - but we still will get an impression about you.  If you’re online to do business – be businesslike.

3. When you feel "beat up" take a break.

Years ago I left my marriage - I was unhappy, felt like a failure, broke, overweight, lost my job - my life was a mess. I made the amazing decision that I only wanted people in my life who were supportive and wanted my highest good. When I look back on it - that was pretty audacious and nervy. Who in the heck did I think I was to have supportive people in my life? I`d never had that before. And I was 34. Not a kid. Well, it didn`t nothing changed immediately but it gradually led to more positive born of confidence – not fear or feeling unworthy. Loving myself led to feeling entitled to more good in my life. And that has made all the difference.

Breathe. Learn to take care of yourself first. Learn to love yourself. Then your business success will follow.

Lisa, I know how it is to have low self esteem.  Loving yourself first is definitely the key to overcoming low self esteem and other destructive feelings in life.  I have also come a long way.  Good Luck.

Annette