Balancing Act

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MiVentaja

posts: 6

Sep 26, 2006 7:39 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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I work from home. I have a fulltime job as a Senior Technical Analyst (fancy name for a guy who writes code all day) and I will start my business as a home-based venture.
I have a question: Any of you have to play tug-o-war with your family? I mean, they see me at home so they assume I am their personal, "Ask Jeeves."

How do you set respectable boundaries so that work time is work time and family time is family time and, barring an emergency, the boundaries are acknowledged?
John

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John Goette Mi Ventaja Computer Training Systems

YvetteMarie

posts: 33

Sep 26, 2006 9:11 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Hi John...

I work almost strictly from home, and Im a single mom to "The Hoardes" as well. It`s been tricky, but I`ve been able to establish a few things.

One thing Ive found is to have an established place to work, and NO KIDS allowed no matter what! Whether Im in there or not... its Moms office. (( A corndog stick in my expensive printer taught me THAT lesson )) Also.. I established a set time for working. When I was married and had the help, the kids knew that after dinner, mom was off duty and "at work". Now that Im single, Ive resorted to staying up all night, but it worked well when I had someone to help with the kids. ;c)

I also had a special drawer of stuff for the kids that they were only allowed to use while I was on the phone. Treats (( hey, Im not above bribery )) and markers, stickers etc... if they would iterrupt while I was on the phone.. I just opened the drawer. Of course now that theyre older.... ;c)

Not sure of your exact situation... but thats what worked for me!

Yvette

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Going slow is for weenies!

rossb

posts: 924

Sep 26, 2006 9:51 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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John -

It`s best to have a separate room that you can make into your office (for obvious tax reasons as well), where you can shut the door. Again, making sure that everyone understands that when you`re there during "Working Hours", you`re working. As an added bonus, this works both ways. When work is over, shut the door on the way out and remember that you are now at home. Not everyone has the space for this, but it`s well worth it if you can.

Obviously, one of the benefits of working from home is that you can make exceptions as neccessary, but I think it`s smart to set some initial guidelines that you work hard to observe. That way, when you do need to make an exception, the boundary doesn`t get erased, just stepped over for a moment.

Hope that helps a little...

R-

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Quaerite Primum Regnum

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
~ Oscar Levant ~

Twitter: @rossb

CraigL

posts: 9051

Sep 26, 2006 10:21 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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For a single parent with young kids, "attention" to the kids is the biggest hurdle. See if there`s any possible way that you can get someone in during the most productive time of your business.

In the old days we had "au pair" girls; not quite a maid, not a nanny, not really a cleanup person, but a sort of basic personal assistant. You might start something like that in your neighborhood, working with some high school students?

The task would be something like a big sister or virtual mom (or dad). How `bout "First Tier Dad," like in tech suport? :-) Of course it could be a big brother, it`s up to you.

But this would be someone who would work for basic wages, who knew how to handle the basic kid tasks, could prepare a basic meal, and mostly, someone to be there when the kids need a "Hey..look at me!"

Figure out your most productive work time, relative to phone and contact work. If it`s during the day, get help. If it`s at night, then a nap is absolutely critical. If you`re not rested, you can`t work. So even if you have someone to watch the kids every day for two hours in the afternoon, to prepare for working 11pm-4am, it`s important.

my two cents
craig :-)

MiVentaja

posts: 6

Sep 27, 2006 2:52 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Thank you all for the advice!
Based on everyone`s feedback, my challenge is to establish acceptable boundaries regarding my time and space.
This is excellent advice and I will let you all know how this is working out in a couple of weeks.
Thanks again; It is wonderful to have this kind of support!
John

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John Goette Mi Ventaja Computer Training Systems

entreprenerd

posts: 1187

Oct 04, 2006 12:23 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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I have a sitter help me with the kids when I`m trying to work. She`s a retiree and isn`t too expensive - plus I`m usually here to as supplemental help to her. I don`t really have any strict boundaries, but my little guys are 4 /1 2 and 1 1/2. I also have a couple of p/t helpers and I farm out things like printing, payroll and bookkeeping. All of these combined really help.

CraigL

posts: 9051

Oct 04, 2006 10:18 PM ET Quote Report Abuse

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I remember when we kids were in grade school my mom hired a "proxy mom," when she took up school for a teaching degree. Mrs. Boyd, too, was a retired widow who basically missed being around people, kids, and life. She wasn`t a cleaning person, maid, or anything else. Mostly, she was there when we got home from school, had snacks, listened to our problems and triumphs, made sure we got started on homework, and prepared dinner.

Mrs. Boyd was a fantastic cook, thought we were the best looking, smartest kids in the universe, and had lots of good advice. She wasn`t our actual mom, after all, so she could be more realistic in many cases. She was willing to cart us around to various things; doctor appointments, piano lessons, or whatever else.

We never really had any issues with it at all, and considered her a basic part of the family. And she sure could cook! I still have recipes that start with "Mrs. Boyd`s Swedish Meatballs" and things like that. I`m pretty sure she didn`t charge a whole lot of money, and I didn`t really even "notice" my mom was out of the house at school for those years.

josi

posts: 5

Oct 09, 2006 2:36 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Hi, I`m new here. I just had to ask. Where do I get a Mrs Boyd. She sounds wonderful!

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MiVentaja

posts: 6

Oct 09, 2006 11:18 AM ET Quote Report Abuse

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Hi Everyone:
I have put your input to the test and have great results to share.
Let me back up a little; my wife returned from an extended stay in Provo, UT where we will be moving to in 6 months (I understand they now have electricity there - KIDDING!).
Anyway, we discussed priorities and time and we worked out a plan where I am now dedicating a couple of hours a night to my business. This doesn`t sound like much but as soon as it reaps rewards, I`m sure I`ll justify more time.
I sense I`ll roll out my first training CD the end of October.
Oh yeah! I will have to post a new message on the Marketing board. How to promote on a shoe string!

Thank you all for the wonderful advice!
John

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John Goette Mi Ventaja Computer Training Systems

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