Forums: Discussions for entrepreneurs and small business.

I would appreciate any feedback that you might have on my site.

www.pbnusa.com

The Platinum Business Network is an online Yellow Pages businesses but with a lot of extra features.

In addition to all the advantages of a standard business directory, consumers will also be able to:

·        See a picture of the person or small-business vendor.

·        Read a personal bio from the small-business.

·        View small-business contact information.

·        View and give customer based ratings and testimonials.

·        Listen to a personal 3o second audio commercial.

·        View small-business video and PowerPoint commercials.

·        Access small-business newsletters and coupons.

·        Link to important consumer and business resources.

·        Access small-business subscriber web sites.

Thanks for the input,

• Put a different colour on the background. You want the text to contrast the background. So grey on blue or blue on grey - while it looks quite elegant - isn`t very easy to read, especially for people with screensavers.
• Fire the guy who did the video for you. Just kidding. OK, keep the video. That`s a brilliant idea to have a video there introducing yourself and the business but there are a lot of people on dial-up with cash in their pockets. You don`t want to leave them out. So get the video streaming on either YouTube or Google Videos and cut and paste the code into your site. Or if you don`t want to do that, tell visitors that it would be wise to play the video, put up with the breakups and then replay it.

Harsh criticism from CookieMonster.

My initial glance left me with absolutely no real idea what you offer beyond a directory of some kind. Does the world need another directory? I have no idea. Is that what you offer? A directory? Or do you offer something else? Convenience, speed ... what? What you offer is very important because it`s the only reason people share their money with you.

You need to *significantly* sharpen the front page copywriting to instantaneously communicate your offering. Even when you think it`s sharp, sharpen it again. And again. And again. And again. I like to follow the 4-second rule. Can the visitor learn about your product or service in four seconds or less? That`s tough to accomplish but can be done with any product or service. [I`m not so picky about subsequent pages but the front page really has to be mind catching.]

I think you should hire a professional copywriter. Or read a few books on copywriting if you haven`t already. There`s two key styles: deductive copywriting and inductive copywriting. Google these terms.

Here is an example of copywriting and design in which I have participated:

http://www.scenomics.com [Site isn`t quite complete, but you`ll get the idea.]

This company sells a complicated product that has many capabilities. Yet very little time is spent talking about anything beyond the mission: fast, accurate terrain generation. Anything else, really, is just a pointless distraction. I have a well-deserved reputation for being a minimalist. That wasn`t always the case. But in today`s over-communicated world [not my words], clarity really matters.

How are you going to spend the four seconds invested by your visitors? What are you doing to make them feel hot and bothered and interested? Right now... not a whole lot in my opinion.

Finally. The name is awful. Gut-wrenchingly awful. Platinum Business Network. Worn out, worn out, worn out. Your product idea is really good though. Platinum is an expensive metal. It`s rare. Are you trying to imply rarity? Exclusivity? If that`s what you`re using as brand attributes, then you need a different site design entirely. Look at chanel.com, armani.com, etc. Platinum Business Network is not memorable. What about pbnusa is memorable? Terrible stuff. Why not use something like "Platinum Bus" instead? That`s memorable. A platinum school bus or city bus is almost vivid. You could have a stylized logo of a platinum bus. I know it sounds ridiculous but people remember the ridiculous; they forget the generic.

If you`re interested in the entire "what you offer" -vs- "what you do" angle, and you should be, look at some of my other posts.

P.S. I purposefully used the phrase "Harsh Criticism from CookieMonster" in the opening so you could get an idea about memorable -vs- generic.

It`s worth noting that your site uses about as many words in its descriptions as the product offered by the site I mentioned above. Yet the terrain engineering product has thousands of complex features. You should be able to describe your offering with no more than ten common words. I cannot imagine that you need 274 words on your "About" page. That is book report territory. There are 170 words on your front page. Too many, Too many, Too many!

Thank you "Everyone" for all the great comments. The issues with the front page have been bothering me for quite a long time and it has actually had many revisions.  Your comments are just what I need to keep refining.

Let me throw out a comment and question that I have been stuggling with on the front page. 

My front page has to appeal to two different groups of people.  The businesses who are paying for the site and the customers who will be using the site.  I have been riding the razors edge on what group of people to appeal to on the page.

Since it is new and am looking for a greater subscriber base, should I focus on the businesses?  If I just focus on this on the front page I run into the issue of "How are people going to find me?"

Should I do a split page, for businesses and customers?

This has been my dilema and what I have been dealing with.

Maybe to help in your reply, I don`t consider it just another directory.  I consider it a better, more comprehensive and more affordable replacement for the Yellow pages that incorporates the different elements of:

• a Yellow Pages
• Networking Organization
• Chamber of Commerce
• Better Business Bureau

Take a look at my recent press release and you will see how I want to position myself.  Yes it`s Brash and Brazen but it is the direction I want to go.

http://www.marketwire.com/mw/release_html_b1?release_id=1907 89

Thank you for the help.

Also as to the question:

<I`m curious; what did you see as missing from the general world or market that you could provide or do better? This isn`t a take-down, or snide remark at all. I`m genuinely curious.>

From my business experience I have seen two different types of businesses.

1. Businesses that have the $$ to afford the exhorbitant prices of advertising in the Yellow Pages.
2. and Businesses that try to find other unique and cost effective ways to market their business, the main resource being joining a networking group or Chamber of Commerce.

I have been Networking for close to 15 years in various groups and love all the great aspects of what goes on.  What I realized and I saw as a problem was that Networking relies 100% on the business getting referrals.  The problem that I was trying to solve was:

How to communicate all the great things that we do while networking to the general public.  That is why, on top of it being a directory, the business can also:

• upload their 60 second elevator speach
• upload their brochures, coupons, PowerPoints and Videos
• be rated and have testimonials given on their page
• input all the people that they refer business to

and much more.

I have tried to take all these great things and combine it into a format where the actual customer would be able view and benefit from it.  That way the customer gets more of a sense of who he/she is dealing with.  Not just AAA Plumbing, etc.

Thanks again. 

1.] Configure the front page for consumers as that is the basic purpose of your directory: help consumers find reliable products and services. Use a tab titled "Consumers" for this page.

2.] Create a second page for businesses. Call this tab "Businesses". This tab has information for business owners and service providers.

3.] Devote the third tab to "About". This contains your company`s information.

You need a great, mind-catching hook on the front page. You also need a simpler presentation. Within ten seconds, your "consumer" visitors should be entering something in the search field and getting results. Business customers will click to the "Businesses" tab and, ideally, learn within 4 seconds why they want to invest their hard-earned liquid capital in your product/service.

As I said in my previous post, "What are you doing to get your visitors hot and bothered and interested?" Good copywriting helps. Why wouldn`t you use something like:

"Find the best local businesses in your area!"

Then on the business page:

"Want local consumers to call you day and night?"