You know you`re often a customer. You go to Big Box, find a pair of shoes, go to the checkout counter, and BAM!...you`re a customer! The person running the cash register (credit-card register?) seems "different."
Intellectually you know they`re just a regular person, but they don`t feel that way. They`re The Authority, The Servant, or they`re A Doormat. (That`s not how people ought to perceive a sales clerk, but many people feel that way regardless of what ought to happen.)
But now YOU are exactly whatever you feel is true of that person! Now YOU are behind the checkout counter! YOU are the person who`s responsible for transferring goods or services to The Customer.
Do you see how this psychological process leads to problems and anxieties? The way you perceive That Person behind the checkout counter, that`s the way you believe The Customer perceives you! If you don`t know this is happening, you can`t change things. So it`s useful to examine your feelings and psychology as you interact with sales people on a day-to-day basis.
When you have an occasion to speak to a customer, perhaps as a follow-up on a question, do you *feel* that you`re speaking with a friend of yours? Feelings have no words. They exist only as a feeling. It`s the job of the intellect to figure out what words best might describe those feelings.
I wonder how many people who ordinarily are a little bit shy, or who`re nervouse about speaking in public, have this kind of problem? They perceive The Customer as a different species, co-existing with "us" here on the planet. Then they start talking and discover that The Customer is really a nice person who`s just like "us." :-)